The hardest for me is… I am going to anwser but I don’t understand when a child dies. I really don’t . I think there should be a window where there is a chance of dying. but not in this window of time. When a child dies, or if the child is sick, I really don’t understand it. But I listen to Ryan White, twelve years old, at my dining room table at Neverland telling his mother how to bury him. He said, “Mom when I die, don’t put me in a suit and tie. I don’t want to be in a suit and tie. Put me in OshKosh jeans and a T-shirt.”
I said, “I have to use the bathroom,” and I ran to the bathroom and I cried my eyes out. Hearing this little boy telling his mother how to bury him. That hurt me. It was as if he was prepared for it and when he died he was in OshKosh jeans and a t-shirt and a watch that I gave him. And I am sitting alone in this room with him and he is lying there… I spoke to him and I said, “Ryan, I promised you that I would do something in your honor on my next album. I will create a song for you. I will sing it. I want the world to know who you are.” I did Gone Too Soon. That was for him.